Case 37. A Troubled Wife

Caius, a confessor, asks what he must do in the following case. Titia, the wife of Titius, whom Caius knew well as parishioners, approached confession. After the confession was completed, Titia asked whether marital intercourse was lawful without the husband duly completing the act. When Caius denied it, Titia replied that her husband affirmed it, and indeed often acted thus on a physician’s advice because of the weak powers of his wife, who was less capable of bearing and nursing a child. Caius was then silent, but the difficulty increased when Titius soon approached confession and nevertheless said not a word about the matter badly conducted with his wife. Hence it is asked:

1. Is it established that onanism is a sin, and what kind?

2. What advice must be given to wives anxious about onanism committed by their husbands?

3. Must penitents established in good faith be warned about things badly done by them?

4. What is to be said of the case?

1. Is it certain that onanism is a sin and what sort?

From the way in which Holy Scripture mentions it (Gen. xxxviii. 9), from the teaching of the Church, and because it is a gross perversion of nature, it is certain that onanism is a grave sin.¹

1 Manual of Moral Theology, vol. ii, 363.

2. What advice is to be given to wives anxious about onanism committed by their husbands?

They are to be admonished to do what lies in their power so that their husbands complete the act in the proper manner, and if they do not succeed, let them not approve the manner, and let them lawfully cooperate only materially in the sins of their husbands.²

2 Ibid., 363.

3. Are penitents to be admonished who in good faith do what is wrong?

They must be admonished if what they do is a cause of public scandal, or if their good faith is not perfect and they are doubtful about the matter. They must be admonished also if in all likelihood they would obey the admonition. If the admonition would be productive of more harm than good it should not be given.³

3 Ibid., 223.

4. To the case. Although good faith regarding the licitness of onanism is not altogether impossible even among Catholics, yet it can scarcely endure for a long time. For bishops and priests, and even upright laymen, are accustomed to condemn that crime in clear words and writings. When therefore Titius comes to confess, yet he says nothing about onanism, Caius should interrogate him with general words whether he has anything that torments his conscience, or something similar. If Titius denies it, it seems that Caius may be able to acquiesce and grant absolution. For the penitent is to be believed whether speaking for himself or against himself. Nor is Caius permitted to reveal what he heard from Titia’s confession. But if Titia again makes mention of the matter brings it up, Caius must say openly that the matter is altogether unlawful, Titia should do what she can to correct the husband, and if nothing succeeds, she may be able to offer material cooperation to the act which she is unable to hinder. As for the dangers to health or even life, which physicians sometimes exaggerate let Titia entrust herself to God.¹

1 Bucceroni, TheoL Moral., vol. ii, n. 824; Génicot, vol. ii, n. 551.