Chapter LXII: Obligation of Secrecy

THIS vain curiosity about the affairs of your employers leads by a short way to another very great evil, and that is, to revealing and making known to people abroad those things which ought to be kept in the house. A person curious enough to want to find out such things will prove a leaky vessel. She will not rest until she has talked it over with her friends and acquaintances. Everything that goes on in the house will be made a subject of discussion. The conduct of the mistress towards her husband, or his towards her; the conversations between them or other members of the family at the table; what persons have visited the house, and what was overheard of their conversation; the money-affairs, courtships, spats and quarrels of the family, will all be retailed, like so many choice morsels, for the amusement of one’s self and friends.

It may be sins or faults of character will be spread about, dressed up in such a way that they have quite a different look from the reality. As Scripture says: “And without being idle, they learn to go about from house to house; not only idle, but tattlers also, and inquisitive, speaking things they ought not” (1 Tim. v. 13).

All this is wrong; it is a violation of that agreement which must always exist between employers and their dependents. When you entered their house they committed to you, of course and of necessity, many things relating to their private lives, and it was understood that these things were sacred; not to go out of the house; to be buried in silence.

It was something like the agreement between the priest and his penitent. He says nothing about keeping what he hears secret, but it is as well understood as if he swore the most solemn oath. They said, perhaps, nothing about this duty not to repeat his advice or admonition, but it was as well understood as if they had.

It is most necessary that it should be so. What mischiefs, what strifes, heart-burnings, suspicions, and sins are not stirred up by such conduct! Such things spread from mouth to mouth, until a whole town almost is involved in numberless sins of the tongue. Character is sometimes destroyed and life rendered a burden.

As Holy Scripture says: “The words of a tale-bearer are as wounds that penetrate to the inmost parts of the bowels” (Prov. xxvi. 22). Hear what the prophet says, speaking of different kinds of the wicked: “Tale-bearers and slanderers have been among thee to shed blood, and they have committed wickedness in the midst of thee” (Ezech. xxii. 9).

God abhors such conduct: “Six things do I hate, and the seventh my soul abhorreth: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart hatching evil thoughts, feet swift to run into mischief, false witnesses bringing out lies” (Prov. vi. 16). What is the seventh that God abominates? The one who sows strife among brethren. Who is that one? The tale-bearer, the revealer of secrets. For, if this were to cease, strife and enmity would cease also. “When there is no tale-bearer strife ceaseth” (Prov. xxvi. 20).

But is it right, in any case, to reveal the sins or faults of those who employ you? In answer to this question, I say that, although as a general rule it is not right, there are some exceptions. Your own good or that of another may justify it sometimes.

For example: If you have to leave certain employers on account of their misconduct or ill-usage, and your parents or relations, who have a right to know, inquire the reason, and you cannot conceal it without mischief, you could make known why you had to leave.

Or, suppose another girl gets a position in a place where you have been working and which is a dangerous one for her; charity would require that she should be put upon her guard, and not allowed to run the risk of serious damage to her soul or her character.

A great deal depends on circumstances. You should be careful not to reveal more than is necessary, and to take into account the character of the parties to whom you reveal it, whether they be prudent and discreet, or light-headed and rattle-brained persons.

Necessity is the only plea for speaking at all, and necessity must put the exact limit to what you speak; otherwise you will run the risk of doing great wrong and committing great sin.

It is well to take advice of those competent to give it. Lay open the circumstances of the case, and abide by the advice given you. And, above all, lay the matter before God, and ask the Holy Ghost to guide you.

Purify your motive, and say over and over again to yourself that you will and intend to follow God’s holy will in the matter just as far as God shall enlighten you, and not depart a hair’s-breadth from it.

In this way you will be sure not to fail. If you make a mistake, it will be no fault of yours, and you will have before God the same merit and the same reward as if you had made none, for God looks at the intention rather than at the success and result of what you do.