Chapter XLV: On the Choice of a Place

MANY a Catholic girl has been good at home, has attended to her duties, and to all appearances has loved her religion, and yet after a little while at service all her piety seems to have disappeared.

She does not go to Mass, she goes gadding about the streets day and night, talks all kind of talk, spends her wages foolishly, and becomes what you may call a wicked girl; at least she is anything but in the grace of God.

A good deal of this has been brought about by her getting into an unsuitable place, where bad companions or evil example has destroyed her good principles.

A really good girl, who strives to obey the voice of God in her heart — that is, her conscience — will, I feel sure, sooner or later get a good place, for she is worth her weight in gold to her employer. But she may, at first, have to take up with places that are not very good, until her true merit is found out. She ought, however, to be on the lookout to find a place suitable to her; and what kind of place is that?

I can only give some general directions, and then leave the rest to each one’s prudence and good sense. You should try to get some kind of employment in which you will be favorably situated for leading a virtuous and holy life. That is, certainly, the very first thing to be attended to.

Some, and it may be not bad-intentioned, girls are so carried away with the idea of high wages that they think of nothing else. A dollar or a half a dollar more a month carries the day with them, although they run the risk of losing what money cannot buy — that is, purity and innocence of soul.

Girls in good places, where they have every privilege of attending Mass, where they have time and fine opportunities for prayer, where they have a quiet, respectable home, get their heads turned on hearing that they can get a trifle more wages somewhere else. Nothing will do but they must go there, and they find out that they cannot get to Mass at all, or very seldom; that the work is harder, and that they are kept in a state of confusion the whole time, so that they can scarcely pray at all.

Now, surely, there is no objection to a girl’s trying to get good wages. If she can get the highest wages going, I do not blame her. She has to get her living, and has good uses for all she can earn. I do not blame her for desiring not to be overworked, and to have a comfortable situation.

But these things are not the first of all to be looked out for. We should attend to spiritual advantages first, and then we may look to other things. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His justice, and other things shall be added to you” (St. Matt. vi. 33).

I would advise you then, in the first place, to avoid, if possible, engaging yourselves in hotels, taverns, inns, saloons, or other places where there is a crowd of people, and where gambling or drinking is carried on. In such places there are generally a number of persons employed at service. Now, you know the old saying, that one scabby sheep infects the whole flock, so when there are many working together some are almost sure to be bad, and to exercise a bad influence on the good. Besides, I know very well that a great deal of sin of different kinds is apt to be carried on in such places, which makes them unfit for a modest, pious young woman.

Who would like to live with a number of others, be obliged to eat at the same table, talk with them, and see them constantly, when some of them are neglecters of all their religious duties; others filthy in their conversation; others full of bad temper and spitefulness; others full of little petty dishonesty, and neglecting their duties in the house?

What kind of a place is it for a good girl where drinking and carousing, cursing and swearing, and filthy talk is going on all around? Go to no place whatever where you can foresee that you will be obliged to live in the midst of open and unblushing sin, but where there is at least decency, and a chance to take care of yourself in quiet.

To be sure, there are hotels which are respectable enough, and I do not doubt that a good girl might possibly live a good life in them. I have known very good women in such places; but, after all, even the best are poor places for most young women; a private family is much more suitable.

Among private families, no doubt such as are Catholic are to be preferred to others, provided they are good and practical. As to careless and indifferent Catholic families, I have not a word to say in their favor; indeed, among them the temptation to become careless and indifferent may be greater than among Protestants.

And after all, most girls who live out must find situations among those who are not Catholic, because the number of Catholic families is small compared with the rest.

Now, among Protestant families, which should a good girl prefer? Those in which she is at liberty to attend her religious duties. She should always inquire before she engages herself: “How often can I be allowed to attend Mass?” Unless what might be called a reasonable answer, under the circumstances, is given to this question, I should certainly go further and try for something more satisfactory.

Also there should be nothing required that will hinder entire freedom of conscience. No employer, who is likely to be a good one, will ever think of interfering with your religious rights. The same freedom of conscience which they claim for themselves they will be ready to allow to others.

Do not engage anywhere where attendance at family prayers is required, for it is unjust for them to demand it and improper for you to comply. Say to all such, “I say my own prayers, and will try to discharge my duties faithfully; more than that I cannot and will not do.” If this is not satisfactory, go somewhere else.

If it is all right in regard to your religious duties, inquire into other circumstances; see whether the duties are such as you are able to discharge, for you have no right to undertake what you cannot perform. Find out how many are in the family, and how many other persons are employed. See them if you can, and judge whether on the whole you can live with them to advantage.

There are many things which a prudent girl can judge of better by her own eyes and ears than by what any one can tell her. Let her, then, with prayer to God, go about this business of choosing a place with a good motive to start on, and all the prudence she is possessed of, and do the best she can, with resignation to the divine will. God will be sure to place her, not perhaps where it is in all respects the most pleasant and agreeable to nature, but where it is most profitable and best for her.