Chapter XXXI: Scruples Concerning Contrition

MANY good girls are also often troubled about their contrition or sorrow for sin. They fear they have never had the right kind of sorrow, and that their confessions are of no value on that account. I venture to say, that those who fear this very much are the very ones who have no cause to fear. This fear shows a desire to do God’s will and a grief at the very idea of not doing it, and what is that but true sorrow for sin?

Contrition does not consist in feeling, for we cannot always feel as we would wish to, but in a firm determination to do God’s holy will, and to hate and abhor what is contrary thereto.

Seeing that our sins are contrary to His will, we sincerely regret them; they are a grief to us; we wish most heartily that they had never been committed, and we are determined that they never shall be committed again.

You may seem to yourselves to be cold and without feeling; yet if your contrition is of this kind it is a far better proof of God’s being pleased with you than the shedding of a torrent of tears would be.

Tears sometimes flow very lightly and on small occasions, and they dry up quite as readily. The virtue and goodness of religion is not at all in such tears. On the contrary, the deepest and strongest acts of the will are generally those which are the calmest and most tranquil. The noisy brook is very shallow, while the still water runs deep.

When we read of the martyrs of old giving their blood and their life rather than burn incense to false gods, because they knew that this was a sin, we see what an abhorrence they had of sin, and we are sure that they hated their own past sins, and grieved over them with the most sincere contrition. If you in the same way are disposed to deny yourselves all that may be necessary in order to avoid sin, even though it should go much against your inclination — that is, if your will is heartily set against sin — you need have no anxiety about your contrition; you may be sure it is all right.

The best way to be sure of always having a true contrition for your faults, even the slightest, is to exercise yourselves well in constant desires after God’s love, as I have already recommended you. You know what the Scripture says: “No man can serve two masters, for either he will love the one and hate the other, or hold to the one and despise the other.” If God is truly the master of your soul, there is no fear but you will hate the devil and all his works, and as soon as you see that anything whatever is contrary to the love of God you will drive it from your heart.

If you say: “I won’t be impatient as I have been before”; or, “I will be more careful of my tongue, not to speak in a passion”; and at the same time do not cherish a warm desire to please God in all things, I fear all your resolutions will soon be forgotten. But keep your heart and soul directed to God, and you will be attentive to guard against these and all other faults.

When you have a very great desire to please your employer you are not apt to forget any part of your duty, and you do it well, but when the desire is wanting, you may make a resolution a hundred times to do this or that, and forget it.

A girl who desires to catch the eye of others by her dress never forgets to look in the glass, nor to arrange her hair or her ornaments. She has no need to make a resolution not to forget these things, for her desire keeps her memory wide awake.

So keep a burning desire to please God in your mind, and your memory will be quick in regard to sin or faults, and your will strong. “His delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he will meditate day and night,” says the Scripture (Ps. i. 2). Put your delight in loving God, and the thought of His law will be present before you day and night.