Case XXXV: The Confession of a Woman Who Has, on her Own Authority, Left her Husband

Pius, a young confessor, is very zealous in hearing confessions, and as his piety and kindliness have won him general confidence, it often happens that penitents come to him from other parishes to ask his advice in their difficulties. He frequently has to deal with wives living apart from their husbands without the sanction of the Church.

Not long ago one woman confessed that she was not living with her husband, because he was an adulterer; another said she could not remain with her husband, because he ill-treated, abused and beat her, therefore she had left him.

The question arises: For what reasons may a wife leave her husband, and if she leaves him on her own authority, can she receive absolution?

Answer.—A wife may leave her husband secundum jus publicum propria auctoritate, if he has committed adultery, but she must be morally certain of his guilt, mere suspicion is not enough. St. Alphonsus says on this subject ( Th. mor., VI. 960): " Certum est, virum posse dimittere uxorem adulteram, idem communiter dicunt doctores de viro adultero, quem uxor possit relinquere." The confessor ought to point out to her that it is her duty, if possible, to ask the ecclesiastical authorities to grant her a separation; if this be not possible she need not be disturbed. In the same way the wife may probabilius leave her husband propria auctoritate, if he ill-treats her or beats her, and if delay might be dangerous, or if she does not bring her complaint before the ecclesiastical court, or cannot bring forward witnesses to her husband’s ill-treatment.

St. Alphonsus says (VI. 971): “May she then depart on her own authority? I answer yes, if there is danger in delay, or if she cannot bring suit or prove the cruelty.” If, however, she is able to find witnesses to testify to her ill-treatment, and can bring her complaint before the ecclesiastical court, she should await its decision.

Theologians point out, however, that if there are real grounds for separation, and the wife acts in bona fide, and there is reason to fear that the information will do no good, then the confessor need not draw her attention to this duty. Scavini says (IV. 539): “If sufficiently grave and canonical causes exist for the spouses to separate from one another, according to many they should not be disturbed if they did this on their own authority, with scandal and amazement excluded; for it is too burdensome for many that they be compelled to seek a judicial sentence. They say that this is at least to be tolerated if it is done only for a time.” A remark made by the renowned Dr. Müller (III. 505) is also worth noticing: “Nor do I think spouses who have been separated only by civil authority should be disturbed if they are acting in good faith, for scarcely any fruit from an admonition can be hoped for.”

From what has been said, therefore, it appears that Pius can absolve the penitents in question, if they are bona fide, or if they cannot easily bring forward a demand for separation.—Professor Franz Janis.