Question III: Concerning Adolescents and Young Persons

I. Importance of the confession of young persons. - Let the confessor place before his eyes:

1. that this matter of forming youth is of so much greater importance, as youth is exposed to more and graver dangers, both generally from the awakening of passions, and especially in present times, from worldly or perverse companions, harmful readings, depraved schools, dangerous amusements, human fear, etc.;

2. that in order to confer his work with fruit, it is first necessary a) that he bind to himself the souls of young persons and win their confidence, by treating them cordially and with fully fatherly affection, yet in a manner always worthy and manly; b) that he beware lest he act severely with them, but sympathize with their fragility and inexperience: then they will learn to trust in their own strength and to carry out the admonitions of the confessor, by which they will be raised up;

3. then, that there is need that he lead them to frequent confession, say each month or each week, by which it happens that a) they are preserved from a habit of sin, b) they become accustomed to virtue and piety, c) they also approach the sacraments more often in the rest of life;

4. that it is best that they have a guide who directs them so that they may learn: a) to moderate their passions, b) to avoid dangers, c) to tend toward the vocation which God has destined for them.¹

¹ Cf. Reuter, o. c., nn. 106-109; St. Alphonsus, Pr. Conf., nn. 92-93; Aertnijs, Th. P., nn. 128-138; Th. M., II, nn. 340-344; Marc, Th. M., II, nn. 1849-1850; Theol. Mechl., de Poen. (4), p. 192, n. 65, sch. II, and p. 239, n. 85; P. X. Nicolay, A la conquete des ames. Essai de psychologie et de pratique pastorale. Moralite des enfants et des jeunes gens; De Saegher, Bidden en strijden; Salsmans, Geestelijke leiding voor studenten, in Pastor Bonus, 1920 and 1925.

II. Concerning moderating passions. - That they may learn to moderate passions it is necessary:

1. To investigate what is their predominant passion, which becomes known rather easily from their ordinary manner of thinking, speaking, and acting.

2. To manifest to them the investigations made, whereby they may be persuaded concerning the necessity of correcting themselves; this will be easier if it is shown to them what sort of man he will become who neglected to correct, in youthful age, those defects which they themselves have.

3. To suggest opportune means against the respective defects. Thus to those who think only of delight, let him impose acting from love of duty and precept; otherwise they will throw themselves into prohibited delights and lead a useless life. To those who are vehement, more ardent, irascible, let him prescribe moderation; otherwise, capable of every excess, they will at least be difficult and troublesome in society. To those who labor under laziness and lack energy and spirit, let him prescribe strenuous labor and continual effort of will, lest they become altogether useless. Those who envy others let him seriously admonish, because they will easily come to calumnies and crimes.²

² Quite commonly, even today, four principal temperaments are distinguished, which nevertheless are often found mixed in one and the same individual, and indeed in various degrees, yet in such a way that one is accustomed to dominate. Among men, namely, some are more sensitive because they feel more vividly; others more active because they exercise a more vehement reaction upon sensations. Among the former, some are strong by abundance of blood, others by organization of nerves; among the latter, some act more promptly and intensely, as the choleric; others act only slowly and remissly, as the phlegmatic. Hence four temperaments:

4. Especially let confessors watch that they be preserved immune from the corruption of the age and from the allurements of the flesh, or, having fallen into immodesty, immediately be raised up, both because of the universality of the danger, the facility of the fall, and the difficulty of amendment.

5. For the sake of transforming the character of young persons the confessor needs a) great firmness of soul in pursuing the end and meekness in admonishing, b) great prudence and right judgment, by which he adapts himself to the diverse dispositions of young persons, c) much patience, because it is a work of longer duration.

III. Concerning dangers to be warded off. - The principal dangers from which they are to be kept are enumerated:

a) harmful readings, both to faith and to morals; b) likewise shameful or impious conversations; c) worldly amusements which in our age are so dangerous, e.g., dances, spectacles, cinema, more frequent pleasure trips which weaken the religious sense; d) excessive familiarity with the other sex: it is generally to be inculcated upon girls that, as far as can be done, they abstain from the society and conversation of males; e) corrupted companions who allure to immodesty, or manifest themselves indifferent in religion, impious, or unbelieving, who are found even in institutes of Catholic youth, and are to be fled as emissaries of the devil and denounced to superiors;³ f) excessive friendly familiarity with one companion, which, even if begun for a good end, frequently degenerates into a friendship not pure.

³ Concerning this case see Revue Eccl. de Liege, t. IX, p. 410 sq. (May 1914).

IV. Concerning vocation and election of state. - If an adolescent makes mention of election of state, let the confessor direct him toward his true vocation. For this it is necessary to recall:

1. That it is not his part to determine the vocation of the penitent, but only to uncover the vocation given by God: for vocation is a special destination which God chooses and gives to someone with the qualities and helps necessary for this.

2. That God always makes the things necessary for a man to follow his vocation, both by giving the required aptitudes and by placing him in suitable external circumstances, by which to correspond to the vocation of God, if he does not sin, is at least possible.

3. That God calls someone in various ways, especially three:

a) by a sudden and extraordinary vocation, as He did for St. Paul;

b) by means of inspirations by which, especially during prayer, He sweetly inclines toward such a mode of living, so that the will of God is clearly evident; the inclination must be constant, tranquil, and of pure intention;

c) by the sole means of natural reflection, by which someone with tranquil mind and right soul examines what state of life is more congruent with his aspirations, dispositions, means and intentions, and salvation. The two latter modes are often joined, for inclination without reflection easily exposes to fallacy, just as also sometimes reflection without inclination does.

4. For knowing the vocation of the penitent, just as he himself, so also the confessor must pray, and examine the dispositions, aspirations, qualities, means, and intentions of the young person, and remove every influence of human consideration, solicitous concerning the will of God alone.

5. But once the matter has been decided, the penitent is to be directed with great firmness against whatever reluctances and difficulties occur, or considerations stirred up by self-love or fear of deception. For obstacles have their origin either from a more vivid imagination, from a hesitating mind, from nature rebelling, or from the devil.

V. Especially A. concerning the religious state: 1) as to aptitude, there are necessary: good health, relatively sufficient intelligence with right judgment, whence the notably melancholic or scrupulous are not suitable; a good character which can bear the burdens of common life; piety; 2) as to the end, let it be supernatural, e.g., holiness, zeal, reparation, or preservation; not natural or worldly, such as convenience of life, complacence of parents, or ambition for honors; 3) as to conservation of vocation, the confessor must enjoin the caution of secrecy, assiduous prayer and frequenting of the sacraments, separation from the world, namely, as far as can be done, from every dissipation, worldly association, worldly amusements.

B. For the priestly state in the world, the confessor must seriously examine sufficient capacity, especially intellectual capacity and competent knowledge, chiefly practical judgment, a right end (as for a religious) and probity of life. Aspirants to the priesthood, just as to religion, must be holy, indeed rather holier because they remain in the dangers of the age; and therefore, that someone may become a good priest in the world, it is necessary that first he has led a very exemplary life, remote from worldly amusements, from idleness and bad companions, and devoted to prayer and frequenting of the sacraments, and especially chaste; otherwise he exposes himself to danger of damnation.

It should be noted that these things are to be understood concerning indications of the divine will or concerning vocation in first act and proximate aptitude, for vocation formally and in second act is given by the bishop, in the name of Christ.

C. For the matrimonial state, to which most men are destined by a common vocation, let the confessor admonish adolescents 1) that they not think prematurely about entering marriage or begin courtship, or that girls not flit altogether lightly among several suitors; 2) that they soon refer every purpose or proposal of marriage to parents, to seek their counsel and assent, and never wish to contract marriage with dishonor to the family or against unwilling parents, unless they have a just cause by which they are excused; 3) that they propose an honest end in contracting marriage: namely, not mere pleasure, but their own salvation and that of children, and a happy mutual life in honesty and virtue; 4) that they not contract betrothal unless marriage is already imminent.

But betrothed persons a) are to be taught that, as regards carnal delight, nothing more is licit for them than for those altogether free; wherefore, lest they succumb to temptations, let them beware excessive familiarity and not defer the celebration of marriage for long; but especially let them beware, both because of danger and because scandal must be avoided, lest they cohabit in the same house; b) they are to be exhorted to confess their sins diligently and to approach the holy Eucharist and the sacrament of matrimony piously; c) although it belongs to the proper parish priest to teach the betrothed the obligations of the conjugal state, nevertheless they are also usefully admonished briefly by the confessor concerning those things which are licit or not licit in marriage, concerning preserving peace, and concerning offspring to be preserved, baptized, and educated.

D. As regards the state of virginity in the world, for girls "who desire to consecrate their virginity to Jesus Christ in the world, let the confessor not permit them to vow chastity perpetually unless he knows that they are well founded in virtues, and taught in the rules of the spiritual life, and especially exercised in prayer. In the beginning he can permit them only to vow chastity for some determinate time, namely from the solemnity of one feast to another." Thus St. Alphonsus, Pr. conf., n. 93.

VI. Concerning courtships.⁴ - On the occasion of entering marriage courtship is commonly made, by which name is usually called the conversation of lovers with a view to future marriage, or at least under its pretext. Concerning this it must be said:

⁴ Cf. Haine, Th. M., I, q. 105; Marc, Th. M., I, nn. 825-828; Th. Mechl., de Poen. (4), n. 85; Aertnijs, Th. M., II, nn. 340-344; Frassinetti, Th. M., note 145 ad n. 460; Ballerini, de Poen., I, nn. 205-212; Noldin, Th. M., III, nn. 433-434.

A. Courtship which is made with a view to future marriage of itself is licit. For no one is bound to marry an unknown person, but each one can test with what character, what morals, and what qualities that person is furnished. Hence in most regions visits of lovers with a view to marriage have so entered the morals of the people that they must be called necessary.

Yet they are dangerous, especially among younger and less God-fearing persons, because they easily furnish an occasion of sinning against chastity, chiefly where greater familiarity and liberty begin, and the time of marriage approaches, as experience establishes and is easily understood from the depravity of concupiscence.

B. Courtship is illicit among persons who cannot, or do not seriously intend to, contract marriage within a reasonable time. For serious hope of future marriage is the only reason from which courtship can become licit; and with this absent, there would not be a legitimate cause for exposing oneself to danger. Now, to contract marriage:

1. those cannot who lack either an age suitable for establishing a family matter (for otherwise courtship would be too prolonged), or immunity from an impediment of marriage unless there is present a legitimate cause for seeking dispensation, or liberty, as sometimes soldiers, or sons of families if parents justly dissent because of the unworthiness of the person with whom they wish to associate, or because of need of the help of children;

2. those do not seriously intend, at least ordinarily, however much they protest, who are rich young men with respect to a poor girl, or who already from the first conversations solicit the girl to sin, or at least refuse the necessary cautions; or who after a reasonable time do not at all manifest the proposal of marriage, or continually defer nuptials without a just cause;

3. those cannot or do not will within a reasonable time who continue courtship with danger of fall for years. What time is legitimate cannot be defined by a certain rule for all cases, but is left to prudent judgment according to diverse circumstances; for making this judgment the practice of the God-fearing and the cautious or incautious manner of conversing contribute much. Generally speaking, if marriage is contracted within a year or a little more, the time does not exceed measure. But if it has already lasted too long, let the confessor take care that either it be broken off, or suspended for a time, or marriage be contracted as soon as possible.

C. That it may be carried out in an honorable manner and an occasion of sinning be turned away, courtship must be moderated by effective cautions, of which sort are:

1. that lovers not dwell under the same roof, at least for long, because of the greatest danger arising from excessive association and familiarity;

2. that as soon as possible they obtain the consent of parents (or of those who are in the place of parents for them): for if they frequent one another against the will or without the knowledge of parents, they will visit one another secretly with great danger;

3. that one alone with one alone not remain in places remote from the sight of others, or at nighttime; for if this is done not by chance but deliberately, it will be done only from a cause of lust or with the highest danger. This is a caution of the greatest moment, so that the obligation of parents (especially mothers) of diligently watching in this matter cannot be sufficiently urged by confessors as grave, not only by reason of conscience, but also from fear lest daughters, corrupted and dishonored in the paternal home, grow old there;

4. that they not have visits too frequent or protracted, which beget familiarity and passion. This is to be judged by the estimation of prudent persons: generally once or twice in a week for one or another hour is not immoderate; and what is immoderate can even be tolerated if there is fear lest prosperous nuptials be lost, provided that stricter cautions are observed;

5. that they avoid all things which can increase danger, especially immodest touches, embraces, and kisses. This must be especially inculcated after betrothal has been entered, or when marriage is imminent, since the bridegroom regards the bride as his own, the imagination of marriage soon to follow stirs lust, and fear of pregnancy vanishes;

6. that they fortify themselves in a special manner by spiritual aids, especially by frequenting the sacraments.

D. For lovers and the betrothed, honorable embraces, kisses, and touches are licit, for manifesting and fostering love, according to the custom of the country; not however kisses or embraces that are close, more often repeated and protracted for a notable time, because ordinarily they constitute a proximate danger of sinning, namely of consenting to venereal delight. And just as the love of betrothed persons is honorable, so also is the sensible delight which follows from that love and its manifestation, provided that it is not intended alone for its own sake, but because of another honest end: fostering love or a sign of benevolence. But if venereal delight perhaps is going to arise, a sufficient reason is present for permitting it, provided that consent to it is excluded. Yet one who in these demonstrations feels more imminent seminal emission must then gently interrupt the demonstration, if he can do so conveniently.

E. The bride is especially to be exhorted 1) that she permit nothing which is reserved to marriage, both that she may consult her own dignity and the happiness of marriage. For a) if the bridegroom acts insolently with the girl, with what reverence, civility, and moderation will he conduct himself toward his subject wife? b) otherwise in a short time it will happen that the bride is already so in the power of the bridegroom that she no longer has the option of breaking the betrothal or the relations; c) nuptials will already be less lovable for the man, if before marriage he is in some way satiated; d) the more carnal lust is fostered before nuptials, the less they will be joined because of a nobler affection;

2. that she not admit manifestations of love that are too free or too many, nor a fortiori solicit them: let her know that many things can more easily be exercised by her than by a young man without carnal commotion; whence let her fear cooperating in the sin of the bridegroom. Nevertheless she does not sin if she moderately admits kisses which are exteriorly honorable, although she suspects a less good intention: for she consents only to the exterior action, not to the internal intention.⁵

⁵ Cf. Vermeersch, De Castitate, pp. 297-298.

F. If courtship is for some persons a proximate occasion of sinning, they must:

1. break it off, if without grave harm they can renounce the present marriage and await the occasion of another marriage of equal value: for then the occasion of sin is voluntary;

2. amend it, if they cannot renounce that marriage without sin or without grave harm: e.g., because of betrothal, offspring to be legitimated, grave lawsuits to be avoided, another suitable marriage scarcely to be hoped for. For then the occasion is morally necessary. But then let them contract marriage as soon as possible, and meanwhile let them never be alone together; for this end let the girl ask her mother or sister never to depart while the lover is present;

3. suspend it for a time, or at least diminish it notably, if hope of marriage is altogether remote (e.g., after the death of parents); for then the occasion is not here and now necessary, and temporal separation is to be imposed.

VII. Concerning chastity and the vice of self-abuse. - Young persons of either sex are frequently subject to the vice of self-abuse, or the solitary sin against the Sixth, or are exposed to the danger of contracting it; wherefore let the confessor watch so that adolescents be preserved from it, or, if they have contracted it, extirpate it.

Let the confessor inspire in them: firm hope and persuasion of certain victory; hatred of the vice; the strength of will to be acquired through a firm and strong manner of acting; moderate mortifications; renewal of purpose; confidence, so that they not think that they have immediately consented; aspiration of an ideal life; and confession to be instituted immediately after a fall, as much as possible before the same confessor.

But careful inquiry must be made concerning the time from which they have been given to the vice, concerning their bodily constitution, and concerning the circumstances of the sin.

As to the cause of the vice, however, it must be altogether noted:

1. There are young persons of either sex who, ensnared by the habit of self-abuse, or because of a nervous or sanguine bodily constitution, experience vehement temptations, and although they resist and pray, nevertheless suffer seminal emission. Let them know that emissions which they truly suffer unwillingly are without sin.

2. There are young persons who first resist temptation, but afterward, if the temptation continues to press, are accustomed to yield to it, thinking that resistance is useless. These are to be encouraged to further resistance: for perhaps soon there will follow an emission which, as having followed apart from the will, will be inculpable.

3. Finally there are found others who, lying down in bed, suffer vehement temptations of the flesh, to which, if they continue to oppose positive resistance, they cannot fall asleep. These are to be urged that, divine help having been implored, and dissent elicited, they conduct themselves passively with safe conscience, whatever happens (St. Alphonsus, Th. M., l. V, n. 9).

4. More rarely there are found abnormal persons who are led by a blind and almost insuperable impulse to procure self-abuse actively for themselves; concerning this case, which requires greater prudence, it will be said in q. 5.

VIII. Observations.

A. "As regards penances to be enjoined or counseled, those are more useful for adolescents which help to implant a good custom or extirpate an evil one, e.g., 1) that for a time they duly discharge morning and evening prayers; or 2) that they make an examination in the evening for eight days; or 3) that they devoutly be present at the sacrifice of Mass (for some days) and offer it for obtaining a certain virtue or extirpating a vice; 4) if they are given to drinking, that in the next week (or month) they not approach an eating-house, not associate with these or those companions, or that for some days in honor of Christ or the Blessed Virgin or the guardian angel or a saint, outside the time of lunch and dinner, they eat or drink nothing; 5) if they are given to play, let them similarly abstain for a time; 6) if they are given to idleness, that for the next fifteen days they study for an hour in the morning and for an hour after lunch; let them read a serious or spiritual book, approach an image of the Blessed Virgin hung in their room, and ask through her intercession the grace of spending well time so precious, granted from the merits of Christ for working out salvation; 7) if they are negligent in divine things, that for some weeks they never be absent from catechism, sermon, Mass, etc. And one must proceed similarly in other customs" (Reuter, Neo-confessarius, n. 108).

B. Since in our age all men of whatever condition wish to inquire into and read curious things, all are to be exhorted to read good books: honorable ones, which licitly recreate; serious ones, which usefully instruct; especially pious ones, which induce to virtue and devotion. Besides, let them altogether abstain from reading evil writings, daily papers, newspapers, whether obscene or impious, especially those which attack the Catholic faith or all religion.

C. For those who go to the university or labor in industrial workshops, associations of Catholic students or workers are to be commended, by which their Christian life may be protected. And it is also of the highest importance that these young persons have a pious and learned priest to whom they can faithfully expose not only the motions and temptations of their soul, but also the difficulties and objections which they have heard against the faith, so that those may be dissolved. And also they are to be prudently taught concerning dangers, if they are exposed to any, as to chastity, and, if necessary, concerning things pertaining to sexual life.

D. Young persons are especially to be questioned concerning depraved thoughts, indecency in speech, idleness and the manner of spending time, squandering money, vanity in dress, etc. They are to be exhorted to conceive horror of excessive familiarity or morose looking at the other sex, and of all foul speech; indeed that they rebuke and flee companions who wish to mix in conversations about dishonorable things and to seize the occasion of secret conversation. Wherefore, excepting the most approved, let rather three than only two walk and play together.

1. Those who are sensitive and sanguine feel promptly and vividly, but not intensely and perseveringly; wherefore they are very unstable. Hence, if they pursue piety and devotion, they easily sin and conceive contrition, but, forgetful of promises, soon relapse into sin. Among the sanguine are numbered Mark Antony, Louis XIV, and Mirabeau.

2. Those who are sensitive and nervous feel much more intensely and durably; whence also in them passions, whether toward good or toward evil, are much more vehement (and therefore moral character depends especially on the object toward which they turn themselves). Yet they likewise have some instability from the diverse emotions to which they are given (e.g., Voltaire, Frederick II), and easily become melancholic when they cannot attain the ideal perfection which they pursue (thus Pascal).

3. The choleric act not only intensely but perseveringly with the greatest force; they are ambitious, wish to dominate others, and to acquire glory in whatever way. Thus Caesar, Cromwell, Napoleon I.

4. The phlegmatic are of two kinds: some weaker, almost destitute of all energy; others stronger, who, although more coldly and slowly, nevertheless can act with great vigor and unconquered constancy. Thus are many Dutch, among whom William, afterward made king of England, stood out.

Cf. concerning these Fouillee, Temperament et Caracteres, Paris, 1895.

Let the confessor strive with all his strength to help younger persons so that whatever good is in their character he may assiduously cultivate, whatever evil he may correct by contrary acts. The psychological notion of the various temperaments is especially useful to him, so that he may direct his penitents more safely to the practice of the virtues:

1. The sanguine are gentle, affable, spirited, liberal, tractable, but also fervid, contentious, prone to pleasures and loves: joyful and light of soul, they love delights, willingly enter friendships, are lovers of society, etc. They are to be urged both to strive to restrain fantasy and imbue it with pious images, to renounce the pleasures of the senses in lesser matters so that they may learn to gain victory over themselves, to put on graver morals, to say farewell to vanities and empty friendships; and to accomplish all things more deliberately and constantly from conviction and love of due duty, lest, moved by passing ardor, they assume something beyond their strength, and afterward, cast down in soul, fall into despair. Similar things hold, proportion having been kept, concerning the nervous; for these are very excited, most prone to love, whence they easily conceive affection, and are subject to venereal commotions. Yet they are changeable and fanciful, prone to impatience and jealousy; whence among them love from tenderness sometimes is converted into aversion.

2. The choleric are bold, spirited for undertaking, generous; but also precipitate, impatient, irascible, proud, inhuman, hard, tenacious in purposes conceived. These, as also the nervous, are to be moderated lest, because of too much ardor, they indulge excesses, but especially they are to be moved to turn their passions to good ends. Besides they are to be fortified against the dangers of anger, vengeance, hatred, and enmities, and admonished that they distrust themselves.

3. The melancholic are circumspect, modest, thoughtful, constant; but also singular, suspicious, lovers of their own judgment, critical: they can scarcely enter friendship, love solitude, are moved to hatred, envy, vengeance. These need consolation, lest they be oppressed by sadness and desperation; they must avoid solitude, idleness, and envy; they are to be occupied in useful labor, exercised in virtues toward the neighbor.

4. The phlegmatic are meek, faithful, peaceful, docile, but also can be pusillanimous, inconstant, idle, tepid; they are with difficulty excited to good, lack fervid passions, are easily content with mediocrity, love peace and quiet, indeed are accustomed falsely to attribute peace and rest to virtue. These are to be animated and excited lest they become drowsy, lazy, and lax; yet they are not to be sharply reprehended lest they cast down their spirit. They are to be lifted up to consideration of eternal things so that they may despise earthly goods and evils, and make efforts toward greater things.