Section 8: Matrimony

Marriage was instituted by God for the propagation of the human race.¹ Christ raised the contract to the dignity of a Sacrament.²

¹ Gen. I, 27 sq.; II, 18-24-—St. Augustine, Contra lulian. Pelag., Ill, c. 25, n. 57; ibid., IV, c. 7, n. 38 (Migne, P. L., XLIV, 731, 757)-

² Matt. XIX, 4-6; Eph. V, 21-32. —Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, De Matr., can. 1. —Cat. Rom., P. II, c. 8, qu. 14-16.

The Sacrament of Matrimony is a most important institution both from the moral and the social point of view. The duties it imposes may be briefly described as follows:

1. OBLIGATION. —No individual human being, whether man or woman, is obliged to enter the married state. The words of the Creator, "Increase and multiply and fill the earth," are to be regarded as a blessing;³ but even if they embodied a formal command, they would bind only the race as a whole, not each individual member, for the object of the command, i. e., the propagation of humankind, can be attained even though many remain unmarried.⁴ The New Testament distinctly teaches that marriage is not an obligation binding all, but that, on the contrary, virginity is a higher good (bonum melius) because it enables man to devote himself wholly to the service of God. To lead a single life for religious or moral motives is better than to marry.⁵

³ Gen. I, 26; cfr. Gen. V, *; VIII, 201 17; IX, i, 7; XVII, 20 sq.; XXVIII, 3; XXXV, 11; XLVIII, 3 sq.—St. Augustine, De Peccato Orig., c. 35, n. 40: "Those words of God, Increase and multiply, are not a prediction of sins to be condemned, but a blessing of fruitful nuptials." (Migne, P. L., XLIV, 405).

⁴ Cat. Rom., P. II, c. 8, qu. 12. — St. Thomas, Summa Theol., 2a 2ae, qu. 152, art. 2, ad i: "The command given concerning generation regards the whole multitude of men, for which it is necessary not only that it multiply bodily but also that it advance spiritually. Therefore sufficient provision is made for the human multitude if some devote themselves to carnal generation while others, abstaining from it, are free for contemplation of divine things, for the beauty and salvation of the whole human race; just as in an army some guard the camp, some carry the standards, and some fight with swords, all of which are nevertheless duties of the multitude but cannot be fulfilled by one person." —Ibid., 3a, Suppl., qu. 41, art. 1 sq. —H. Denifle, O.P., Luther und Luthertum, Vol. I, 2nd ed., pp. 268 sqq. (Volz's translation, I, i, Somerset, O., 1917, pp. 261 sqq.).

⁵ Matt. XIX, 10 sqq.; 1 Cor. VII, 25 sq., 32 sqq. —Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, can. 10: "If anyone says that the married state is to be preferred to the state of virginity or celibacy, and that it is not better and more blessed to remain in virginity or celibacy than to be joined in marriage, let him be anathema."

Besides voluntary virginity, just described, there is another kind, altogether involuntary or compulsory, due to physical, moral or social causes. The conditions of life in which a man is placed may be such as to preclude marriage. Thus he may be unable to find a mate, or he may be physically unfit, or suffer from defects or inclinations which make a happy marriage impossible or, at any rate, extremely doubtful. It is no sin to remain unmarried for such and similar reasons. But to refuse to assume the duties of the married state out of pure selfishness, e. g., be- cause of an inordinate love of pleasure, or in order to be able to continue in vicious habits,⁶ is contrary to the moral law and exposes a man to great danger.

⁶ "Non amator coniugii, sed libidinis servus." Cfr. St. Augustine, Confessiones, 1. VI, c. 15, n. 25 (Migne, P. L., XXXII, 732) ', C. Krieg, Wissenschaft der Seelenleitung, Vol. I, pp. 318 sqq.

However, we must be slow to condemn unmarried persons, for they may be actuated by perfectly legitimate motives which they do not care and are under no obligation to reveal even to their confessor.

One who is too weak to lead a chaste life and unwilling to employ the moral and religious means which would enable him to live continently,⁷ is in duty bound to marry, and the confessor should tell him so.⁸ However, it is necessary to proceed with caution in such cases, because the question of marriage is a most delicate and important one, and continence has to be practiced at certain times even in wedlock. St. Paul expressly teaches that no one should be forbidden to marry, and in spite of his high regard for widows, frankly admits that for many of them it would be better to marry again.⁹

⁷ Mark XIV, 38; 1 Cor. X, 13. — Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, can. 9: "If anyone says that all who do not feel that they have the gift of chastity, even if they have vowed it, may contract marriage, let him be anathema, since God does not deny that gift to those who ask rightly, nor allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able." —Sess. VI, cap. 11: “Deus impossibilia non iubet." —St. Augustine, Enarr. in Ps., CXXXI, n. 3: "Let no one presume that he will render by his own powers what he has vowed; He who exhorts you to vow Himself helps you to render it." (Migne, P. L., XXXVII, 1717).—St. Thomas, Summa Theol., 3a, Suppl., qu. 42, art. 3, ad 3: "A greater remedy against the disease of concupiscence is employed, through spiritual works and mortification of the flesh, by those who do not use marriage."

⁸ 1 Cor. VII, 9: "For it is better to marry than to burn." —On the meaning of uri and of the vow of celibacy see Denifle, Luther und Luthertum, Vol. I, 2nd ed., pp. 92 sqq. (English translation by Volz, I, i, pp. 100 sqq.).

⁹ 1 Cor. VII, 1 sq., 8 sq., 39 sq.; 1 Tim. IV, 3; V, 5, 14 sq.

2. DUTIES WITH REGARD TO THE RECEPTION OF THE SACRAMENT. —These are partly negative and partly positive. a) MOTIVES. —The motives by which a person is led to embrace the married state must be morally licit. a) Both parties must be convinced that they are called to the married state and that they possess not only the necessary knowledge but likewise the religious and ethical qualities without which married life cannot prove pleasing to God nor helpful to the contracting parties.¹⁰ As the sexes are drawn together indiscriminately by the natural stimulus of sensual and intellectual attraction, the gratification of the sexual instinct¹¹ ** is not a sufficient moral motive to justify mar' riage. The same is true of greed, Platonic love, so called, and other purely secular motives. None of these suffices to constitute matrimony a truly moral relationship.

¹⁰ Ecclus. VII, 27 sq.; 1 Tim. II, 15. —Rit. Rom., tit. 7, c. 1, n. 1: "Let each know the rudiments of the faith, since they must afterwards teach them to their children." —For the instruction of bridal couples in the duties of their new state of life there are available a number of useful books, e. g., Gerard, Marriage and Parenthood (New York: Jos. Wagner), and others.

¹¹ The Roman Catechism (P. II, c. 8, qu. 8) admonishes parish priests to teach the faithful that the nature and import of marriage consist in the bond and obligation, and that, besides the consent expressed in the manner prescribed by the Church, consummation is not necessarily required to constitute a true marriage. —Cfr. Pohle-Preuss, The Sacraments, Vol. IV, 2nd ed., pp. 184 sqq.

There is nothing wrong in attending to physical beauty and natural attraction in selecting a part- ner for life, but this motive should not be made a primary one.¹² Of considerably more importance than natural charms is the possession of material means assuring an income and a satisfactory social position which offers solid guarantees for the adequate support of a family. It is also perfectly legitimate to take into consideration the reasonable wishes of parents and relatives. Though the validity of marriage does not depend upon the consent of the parents (consensus parentum) of either party, both are in duty bound to pay due regard to the rights and interests of their respective families. A marriage contracted against the will or without the blessing of parents whose demands are reasonable, lacks one of the moral foundations of wedlock and one of the principal guarantees of marital happiness. ¹³ Commendable moral motives are: a de- sire for mutual happiness and sanctification, the wish to rear a family according to God's holy will, etc.

¹² Cfr. Gen. XXIV, 16; XXIX, 17. —Tertullian, De Cultu Fem., II, c. 2: "Beauty is not to be accused, as though it were bodily happiness, an addition to the divine workmanship, and a kind of becoming garment of the soul." (Ed. Leopold, II, 87).—St. Ambrose, De Offic., I, n. 83: "We certainly do not place virtue in bodily beauty; nevertheless, we do not exclude gracefulness, because modesty is accustomed to suffuse even the countenance with reserve and render it more pleasing. For just as an artisan is accustomed to work better in more suitable material, so modesty shines forth more even in bodily beauty itself." —IDEM, De Inst. Virg., n. 30: "Why do you seek beauty of countenance in a spouse more than beauty of character? A wife pleases by honorable conduct more than by beauty. We cannot censure the work of the divine Craftsman, but let one who is delighted by bodily beauty be delighted much more by that loveliness which is within according to the image of God, not that which is more adorned outwardly." (Migne, P. L., XVI, 48, 312). — IDEM, De Abraham, 1. I, n. 6: "Not so much a woman’s beauty as her virtue and dignity delights a man." (P. L., XIV, 423).

¹³ Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, De Reform. Matr., c. i; Cat. Rom., P. II, c. 8, qu. 26; Gury, Comp. Theol. Mor., Vol. II, n. 569 sqq.; Kenrick, Theol. Mor., Vol. II, pp. 289 sq.

Broadly speaking, it is better to marry young than to wait too long. Most of those who are called to the married state will find it to their advantage to marry at an age when they are still pliable and enjoy their full physical powers. If a man postpones marriage too long he is apt to lose courage and become unfit for married life. Husband and wife grow accustomed to each other more easily if both are young and tractable and inspired by high ideals. Needless to add, no man should marry until he is able to support a family.

Persons who are physically underdeveloped or suffer from some hereditary disease or other serious bodily ailment, should not marry. The normal development and good health of the female is of special importance. Marital happiness largely depends on the health of the wife. No girl ought to think of marriage before she is twenty. The husband should be several years older than the wife, and able to exercise self-control. A great deal of misery is caused by people marrying too young.

The Church discourages, and to a certain extent forbids, marriage among blood relations, because such unions frequently result in stunted and defective children. The Mosaic law forbade them as harmful for the offspring of the contracting parties as well as for the nation at large.¹⁴1* To prevent grievous disappointments, which are all too apt to endanger conjugal happiness, the contracting parties should be frank with each other in regard to their pecuniary means and all other temporal matters of importance.

¹⁴ Lev. XX, 17.

β) The Church earnestly warns her children against mixed marriages. Except for the gravest of reasons no sensible Catholic will marry a person belonging to another religion. The nature and purpose of marriage demand true piety and virtue in both parties, in order that they may assist and sanctify each other.¹⁵ The Catholic, therefore, who knowingly and willingly marries a person having no religious or moral convictions, or a false religion, commits a sin and is guilty of an immoral act. There can be no true unity of mind and heart, no harmony between husband and wife, least of all in the upbringing of children, if they differ in this most essential matter of religious belief. But the Church's opposition to mixed marriages rests on a more important consideration even than that. She regards the Sacrament of Matrimony as a symbol of Christ's union with His Church ¹⁶ and a nursery of souls. Hence she is perfectly justified in disapproving of mixed marriages and permitting them only with reluctance and under certain well defined conditions.¹⁷ b) PREPARATION. —As the reception of this Sacrament is a most important step, fraught with grave and lasting consequences, the contracting parties should prepare themselves carefully by cleansing their souls and rekindling their religious ardor. It is the fervent desire of the Church, and in full conformity with her practice, that both bride and groom go to confession and receive Holy Communion immediately, or at least within three days, before marriage.¹⁸ To receive this Sacrament in the state of mortal sin is in itself a mortal sin and a sacrilege. Making a general confession may be advisable, but is not, generally speaking, of obligation. The nupturients should abstain from undue intimacy before marriage and when the time has come to plight their troth, they should do so in the presence of the required witnesses. To be canonically valid a promise of marriage must be made in writing and signed by the nupturients, their pastor or bishop, or at least two witnesses.

¹⁵ Cfr. 1 Thess. IV, 3-7; 1 Tim. II, 15; 1 Pet. III, 1-7.

¹⁶ Eph. V, 22-23; cfr. 1 Cor. VII, 39; Col. III, 18. —P. Schanz, Die Lehre von den hl. Sakramenten, pp. 713 sqq.

¹⁷ Cfr. A. A. Lambing, Mixed Marriages, Their Origin and Results, Notre Dame, Ind., 4th ed., 1917; G. Schlachter, C.PP.S., Mixed Marriages, Collegeville, Ind., 1915; W. Fanning, S.J., in the Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol. IX, pp. 698 sq.; A. Devine, C.P., The Law of Christian Marriage, New York, 1909.

¹⁸ Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, De Ref. Matr., c. i: "The holy Synod exhorts spouses, before they contract, or at least three days before the consummation of the marriage, diligently to confess their sins and devoutly approach the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist."

Persons engaged to be married should not live together under the same roof.¹⁹ Another thing to be discouraged is too protracted "company-keeping," which, as experi- ence teaches, is rarely compatible with chastity. Parents have a duty in this regard which they must not neglect. They should keep a watchful eye on their children even after they are "engaged." The young people themselves should remember that undue liberties taken before marriage, besides being sinful and highly displeasing to God, are apt to undermine that mutual respect which is so necessary an element of happiness in married life, especially after sensuality has abated.

¹⁹ Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, De Ref. Matr., cap. i. —Rit. Rom., tit. 7, c. 1, n. 14: "Let the pastor warn the spouses that before receiving the priestly blessing in the church they are not to live together in the same house, consummate the marriage, or even remain together unless some relatives or others are present."

As marriage is valid only when contracted in conformity with the rules of the Church, nupturients should scrupulously obey the precepts of Canon Law. Above all they should not attempt to get married if there is a diriment impediment between them. To do so would be a mortal sin and the marriage itself invalid. If two persons have married without being aware of the existence of a diriment impediment, they must stop conjugal intercourse as soon as they learn of the fact and have the marriage bond "healed," or else part forever.

To neglect to ask for a dispensation where there is a forbidding impediment, is also mortally sinful. Nobody is obliged to reveal the existence of a marital impediment if the revelation involves injury to his own good name or that of another,²⁰ and those who wish to get married should be instructed that dispensations for secret impediments need not be requested through their respective pastors, but may be obtained through any confessor.²¹

²⁰ Cfr. St. Alphonsus, Theol. Mor., 1. VI, n. 995.

²¹ Dr. Koch relegates the entire subject of marriage impediments to Canon Law, to which it properly belongs. For utility's sake we add the essentials in an appendix (pp. 215 sqq.) in the preparation of which we have had the valued assistance of two eminent canonists and a professor of moral theology.

Holy Scripture nowhere says that it is necessary to have an ecclesiastical ceremony in connection with mar- riage, but St. Paul's declaration that marriages are contracted "in the Lord" and "sanctified by the word of God and prayer," ²¹ naturally led the early Christians to ask the Church for her blessing when they were about to enter this holy state. That Matrimony between Catholics should not be contracted without the approbation and cooperation of the Church follows from its nature as a Sacrament. While civil marriage is per se neither immoral nor irreligious, yet as a consequence of the unnatural rupture between State and Church it necessarily involves disrespect to the latter and is sinful.²² That marriage should take place in facie Ecclesiae is a demand practically as ancient as the Church herself, though the Fathers regarded the blessing of bishop or priest merely as a condition of licitness, not of validity.²³

²¹ 1 Cor. VII, 39; 1 Tim. IV, 5; cfr. 1 Cor. X, 31; Col. III, 17; 1 Pet. IV, 11.

²² Pohle-Preuss, The Sacraments, Vol. IV, pp. 240 sq.

²³ St. Ignatius of Antioch, Epist. ad Polyc., c. 5: "It is right for men and women who marry to be united with the consent of the Bishop, that the marriage be according to the Lord, and not according to lust. Let all things be done to the honor of God." (Funk, Patr. Apost., Vol. I, 2nd ed., 292, 6; Kirsopp Lake, The Apostolic Fathers, Vol. I, London 1912, p. 272).

No matter what laws the State may make with regard to marriage, the rules of the Church never cease to bind the faithful and cannot therefore be disregarded without sin. Catholics who wish to contract marriage are in duty bound, after observing the formalities required by the State, to declare their mutual consent in facie Ecclesiae, i. e., ordinarily, before their pastor and two witnesses, and they should be reminded that it is only by virtue of this act that they really become man and wife, fully entitled to the privileges of the married state.

To seek a husband or a wife by advertising in the newspapers is sometimes justified by circumstances and therefore morally licit.

The wedding celebration should be kept within the bounds of decency and good order, so that Christ and His blessed Mother could attend without offence, as they did at the marriage feast in Cana of Galilee. Here, too, St. Paul's admonition should be heeded: "Rejoice in the Lord always!"²⁴ 2* Wedding feasts should not be celebrated on Saturday, because if the celebration extends far into the night, as often happens, there is danger that the participants may miss Mass on the Sunday following.

²⁴ Phil. IV, 4. —Conc. Trident., Sess. XXIV, De Ref. Matr., c. 10. —Rit. Rom., tit. 7, c. 1, n. 18-' "Marriage can be contracted at any time. But let the nuptials be celebrated with the modesty and decorum that befit them; for marriage is a holy thing and must be treated holily."

READINGS.—Th. Slater, S.J., A Compendium of Moral Theology, Vol. II, pp. 268 sqq.—Pohle-Preuss, The Sacraments, Vol. IV, pp. 140 sqq. —F. P. Kendrick, Theologia Moralis, Vol. II, pp. 279 sqq. —H. Noldin, S.J., Summa Theologiae Moralis, Vol. III, pp. 572 sqq.—M. A. Gearin, C.SS.R., "The Matrimonial Law According to the New Code," in the Ecclesiastical Review, Vol. LVIII, No. 5 (May 1918), pp. 473-495-—H. A. Ayrinhac, S.S., Marriage Legislation in the New Code of Canon Law, New York, 1919.