§ 3. On Touches, Kisses, Etc

401. - 1. A touch which is commonly judged modest, such as holding a hand, an embrace, or a kiss according to the custom of the country, can be disapproved only from the depraved affection of the agent, which is not to be presumed even in doubt. Nor is it very stimula- ting, and there is a just cause for permitting a spontaneous movement of the flesh.

But if the truly depraved affection of the agent is established, even a touch of this kind cannot be admitted unless a just cause of one's own detriment or that of the agent - who would be defamed by the repulse - excuses the cooperation. Therefore, an easy excuse from the grave guilt of this cooperation is at hand. Cf. what was said concerning betrothed persons, no. 295, at the end.

2. Nor are kisses given and returned from an affection of piety between parents and descendants incentives to lust.

3. Mercy, another noble affection, can also prudently - by guarding against delusion - be expressed through kisses which are directed toward an end wholly diverse from Venus.

4. Kisses, even honorable ones, by which love is signified are more stimulating. Their honesty must be estimated from the honesty of the love. Done in passing and quickly, even with a cause lacking, they are thought to be only venial.

Kisses repeated too frequently, especially upon the mouth or lips, and embraces too prolonged, because they gravely move the flesh and have no cause between unmarried persons, are judged grave, unless the carnal movement is positively repressed and, if pollution is more imminent, these things are ceased.

The dove-like kiss, by which the tongue of one is received in the mouth of the other, is marked with still graver reprehension.

5. Therefore, in practice, kisses are to be absolutely prohibited to those who, since they do not have marriage negotiations between themselves, can exercise them only from sensuality; but most especially to those between whom a suspect or less honorable love exists; and, also because of scandal, between priests and unrelated persons.

From the general rules, the confessor will gather what, while he endeavors to obtain all things, he can sometimes tolerate as having been done in good faith; let him be especially cautious and severe when there is question of those persons who profess perfect continence.

6. Kisses done in passing from some venial vanity, jest, curiosity, levity, or wantonness do not exceed venial guilt.

402. - A touch of the dishonorable parts of one's own body, made from curiosity or levity, does not exceed a venial sin, provided that scandal and the danger of venereal consent are excluded. If it is done deliberately and lingeringly, then it is more gravely reproved, because it is judged gravely stimulating of itself ¹.

¹ St. Alphonsus, book 3, no. 419.

If it is done for some natural and not evil end, it will not even be venial: for example, if by rubbing you wish to extinguish non-venereal itching. Concerning pollution perhaps about to arise, cf. what was said in nos. 379, 380.

Even positive penances can be suspect. There are therefore persons who, for the very guardianship of purity, ought to put aside hairshirts and omit disciplines. Abstinences, fasts, and various acts of self-denial do not fall under this suspicion.

403. - A touch of the less honorable parts of another's body, made in passing, is not judged mortal. But kisses impressed upon parts of this kind or upon less customary places are generally mortal, because they arise from lust or proximately induce it (St. Alphonsus, book 3, no. 417).

A touch of the dishonorable parts of another's body, made in passing from wantonness or curiosity, without affection and danger of venereal consent, can be excused from mortal sin, at least if the person is of the same sex and some occasion, for example of persons swimming or washing together, has given place to the wantonness. (Sanchez, De matrimonio, book 9, disputation 46, no. 12.)

Similarly, they excuse maidservants who touch the private parts of little children whom they dress, because this age is less moving. Nevertheless, they are diligently to be deterred from frequently making these touches, lest the children assume a depraved habit of touching themselves. But those who tickle infants upon the private parts are especially to be reprehended. Moreover, it is objectively grave to excite venereal titillation of which an infant is capable.

Other touches of the uncovered dishonorable parts of another's body, especially if the person is of the other sex or is a beloved person, cannot be excused from mortal sin. (Cf. Sanchez, in the cited place; Tamburini, Explicatio decalogi, book 7, chapter 8, § 1, no. 6, at the end; § 2, nos. 3, 4.)

Indeed, touches of the private parts of the other sex over the garments, even if done in passing, are very suspect, although strictly they do not seem capable of being condemned as mortal (Sanchez, De matrimonio, book 9, disputation 46, no. 11; Palmieri, vol. 2, treatise 6, no. 982, who inclines toward the more severe opinion of St. Alphonsus, book 3, no. 420).

404. - A touch of the genital parts of brute animals is judged venial of itself. If it is carried as far as the emission of semen, St. Alphonsus responds rather severely; but, in the end, the affection of the agent must be considered.

405. - Physicians and surgeons who, in exercising their art, must touch the bodies of others even in the dishonorable parts are excused from every sin because of necessity. Nor does involuntary pollution stand in the way. They must indeed convert the proximate occasion of sin into a remote one. This is easier for them, since they are moved by an honorable and grave end and, having implored the assistance of God, can rely upon it more confidently.

Nevertheless, it is necessary that in these examinations and in the manner of acting they not exceed due measure. Cf. Capellmann, De sexto praecepto, at the end.

Those who then sin formally are commonly situated in a necessary occasion ². And you will bring them with the greatest difficulty to abandon their art, even if they can. Wherefore it will be preferable efficaciously to turn those who are excessively lustful away from exercising a dangerous art while they are applying themselves to studies, or better still, before they have chosen those studies. For the more remote they are from exercising the art, the less the occasion seems necessary, and the more easily they will be persuaded.

² St. Alphonsus, book 3, no. 488.

406. - Several women today have already attained a degree in the medical art. That they assist persons of their own sex in those matters in which they are proved to be as skilled and competent as men can contribute to a greater cultivation of modesty. But, since experience is still recent and uncertain, sick women who seek for themselves the services of male physicians are not to be disapproved.

407. - Because of the noble work of offering the breasts to offspring, the breasts of a mother give place to a twofold question.

1. Provident God has joined a certain pleasure to this pious office, which pleasure, according to the general canon often inculcated, participates in the honesty of the work, so that it can be accepted both by a wife and by a widow or unmarried woman.

But if, as sometimes happens, strictly venereal pleasure arises, the woman ought not on that account to abstain from her noble action; outside the married state, however, she is forbidden positively to consent to it. But, unless the penitent spontaneously asks a question, the confessor will do better not to excite scruples of this kind.

2. Today not a few wives, especially those of a more honorable condition, are accustomed after childbirth to retain breasts that are too dry, so that they lack a sufficient quantity of milk for nourishing the offspring. If this defect is foreseen, physicians endeavor to meet it even before childbirth by a certain preparation of the breasts, and this in a twofold manner: by an instrument, commonly called a tire-lait, by which the breasts are drawn through the aspiration of air and, as it were, artificially sucked; and by various manipulations performed by hand (massage). No inconvenience is connected with the former manner; but sexual excitations accompany the latter. Although these, as merely concomitant, are excused by the honorable end, even in unmarried persons, with consent excluded, they are nevertheless better and more prudently avoided. Wherefore, unless the latter manner excels by a serious usefulness, the former should rather be employed.