CHAPTER III: On the Mutual Duties of Spouses

Noldin, II, n. 281; Rosler, C.SS.R., Die Frauenfrage; Vermeersch, Quaest. de Just., n. 512; Godts, C.SS.R., Le feminisme condamne; Cathrein, Frauenfrage; Stimmen aus Maria-Laach, where there are many things (cf. Gen. Index, v. Frauenemanzipation, etc.); Ami du Cl., 1903, p. 36, 745; Schindler, Moraltheol., II, 747.

703. Principles. I. Spouses mutually owe to themselves society, love, and faith. Thus namely from the nature of marriage, and from positive law, both divine and human⁶ (cf. treatise on Matrimony, c. VII).

1. Society; for they are held to live together, as to table and bed, unless a legitimate cause excuses, as is established from the words of the Lord: A man shall leave father and mother, and shall cling to his wife, and the two shall be in one flesh (Matth., 19, 5). But the choice of domicile pertains to the husband (cf. n. 2120 seq.).

2. Special love, namely conjugal love; for since they are one flesh, they ought also to be, through a more intimate love, one heart. Thus Ephes., 5, 15: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church; and (Tit., 2, 4) it is commanded to wives that they love their husbands.

Whence a spouse sins against charity and conjugal love if he or she has hatred for the other, or wishes a grave evil; if by injurious words or signs he or she saddens the other, etc. Likewise, because they are held, from love, to furnish food mutually to one another, either husband or wife sins gravely if, either by harshness, idleness, or sumptuousness, he or she deprives the other part of those things which are necessary to life or condition (III, 356).

3. Faith, that is, conjugal fidelity, according to that (1 Cor., 7, 4): The woman does not have power over her own body, but the man. And similarly also the man does not have power over his own body, but the woman, namely in order to generation.

Hence: a) They are held to render to each other the conjugal debt, when it is sought seriously, and there is not a legitimate cause of denying. b) Every venereal act, whether internal or external, with or concerning an alien person, in married persons has the malice of adultery (cf. n. 781).

704. • II. Certain duties are proper to each spouse. This follows from the proper condition of each. For although there is some equality between spouses, nevertheless the ends of marriage and the native character itself of the spouses require that the man be the head of the woman (1 Cor., 11, 3), and that the woman be subject to the man.

1. The HUSBAND must care for his wife's soul, by directing her rightly, watching over her morals, and correcting her where there is need; - body, namely by retaining his wife with him, and feeding her according to his status; - goods, by diligently conducting the family affair.

Hence, the husband sins, and at times gravely: a) If he affects his wife with blows or insults, without just cause. "Nevertheless he can sometimes chastise her moderately by words, or even from a grave cause by moderate blows, having regard to condition" (III, l. c.; H. Ap., VII, 12). See n. 732. b) If he impedes her from fulfilling the precepts of God or of the Church. But if he impedes her, without cause, concerning those things which are of counsel, such as confession, communion, etc., he sins only venially, unless it is established that she perceives great utility from the sacraments. c) If he denies or neglects to procure food for her. Yet he could justly deny these things if the wife had committed adultery, or had departed from him without cause. d) If he treats her in a tyrannical manner, like a vile slave. e) If he neglects the governance of the family, etc.

2. The WIFE is held to exhibit reverence and obedience to the husband in all licit things: Women, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting, in the Lord (Coloss., 3, 18).

Whence she sins gravely if by quarrels or harsh words she provokes the husband to grave anger, or blasphemy; if, the husband being spurned, she claims authority for herself; if without sufficient indication she judges badly concerning his continence; if she spends something notable from common goods, against his will and the custom of women of her condition; if she arrogates to herself the administration of the house without just cause; if she is unwilling to follow the man changing domicile, provided she can follow without danger of life and salvation, and he, after the nuptials, has not become wandering. It also belongs to the wife to devote work to the offspring to be educated, and in domestic business to bear care of the family, applying effort to cleanliness, not to luxury or talkativeness. If nevertheless she is of conspicuous condition, she can fulfill the lower offices through male servants or maids, provided she watches over them and takes care that the domestic affair is well conducted. Consult St. Alphonsus, III, n. 351-356; H. Ap., tr. VII, n. 12-13. See the rest in the treatise on Charity (n. 484 seqq.) and in the treatise on Justice (n. 863 seqq.).

The doctrine just set forth does not please many moderns, especially those who are opposed to positive religion. They demand equality in every way between man and woman, and they say that it is a crime that woman must be subject to man. This modern theory can be considered under a threefold respect: for it touches the domestic order, the economic or social order, and finally the political order.

1. As regards the domestic order. Whatever those say who vindicate complete emancipation, this can in no way be conceded; for nature has so prepared and ordered the whole matter that the man preside, be the head of the family, the mind which directs all things, the will which by labor and endeavor conquers all things. But let the woman become and remain the heart of the family, and let her work by loving, praying, and bearing, and always lead morals to better things. Head and heart, the mind directing and the heart loving, fortitude and loveliness, the strength of the body and the tender constitution of the members, must be one; yet so that what by nature has been made weaker subjects itself to the stronger.

2. As regards the economic and political order, nothing prevents women also from being admitted almost equally as men to many businesses and to many arts, provided, and let this be well noted, that all things are proportioned to their powers, and never harm the office which they must pursue as wives and mothers. Therefore a moderate and tempered emancipation is not to be rejected a priori; but let there be rejected whatever could destroy the family as it was founded by the Creator: in the middle you will go most safely. Cf. the authors cited at the beginning of this chapter.