Article III: On the Order Among Various Neighbors

S. Th. II-II, q. 26, aa. 6-13; q. 31, a. 3; de Virt., q. 2, a. 9.

911. Notions. - Order is attended according to greater proximity to the principle. But the principle of dilection is twofold, one objective: God; the other efficient: the one loving. Therefore a twofold order must be attended in charity: a) according to proximity to God; b) according to proximity or conjunction to the one loving.

Now a threefold conjunction is chiefly distinguished:

1. carnal, arising from the bond of blood, and founded in the goods of life and family: this is diverse in species according as it is between parents and children, - or between spouses, - or between blood-relatives, - or between relatives by affinity;

2. spiritual, arising from the bond of religion and founded in spiritual and eternal goods; which also contains several species: between members of the Church, - between members of a community, - between pastor and sheep, - between preacher or confessor and convert or penitent, etc.;

3. civil, arising from a political bond and founded in social goods, of which again there are multiple species: between citizens, cohabitants, fellow soldiers, benefactor and one receiving benefits, etc.

912. General principle. In the order of charity the better are to be loved more objectively, the more proximate more intensively and appreciatively. - Order is attended according to greater proximity to the principle. But the principle of dilection is twofold, one objective: God; the other efficient: the one loving. Therefore those who are more proximate and more conjoined to God or to us are to be loved more. And indeed:

1. The better or holier are to be loved more in one way, namely, objectively but directly, that is, by dilection which rests upon goods already possessed: for by dilection of complacency we ought to rejoice concerning the greater good possessed by them, and by dilection of benevolence we ought to will to them the greater beatitude to which they possess a right. For they are more proximate to God and therefore more worthy, and according to this we also owe them greater reverence, worship, and honor.

2. Those more conjoined to us, other things being equal, are to be loved more in all other ways:

a) Intensively: for love is the motion of the lover into the beloved; but the principle of motion flows more vehemently into those things which are more proximate to it than into more remote things; therefore, the more proximate some are to the one loving, the more vehemently they are to be loved, "and therefore man loves them with a more intense affection as regards that good toward which he loves them than the better as regards a greater good."

b) Also appreciatively: for thus those are to be loved more who are loved by more titles, and modes of dilection or friendships, all of which are commanded by charity (to which they are ordered as to an end, as was said in n. 901). But those more conjoined to us are united to us by more titles and dilections; others, however, only by the common conjunction of charity, because they can arrive at beatitude. Therefore from charity we ought to esteem more and prefer those more conjoined to us.

c) Hence also objectively they are to be loved more, at least indirectly: for the good of virtue in man can be increased and diminished, and therefore from charity we can will that those more proximate to us be better than others, and thus arrive at greater beatitude. - Therefore they are to be loved more by the dilection of benevolence and desire, by which we wish for others a good not yet possessed, and by the dilection of mercy and beneficence, by which we procure good for them (I Tim. V, 8; Gal. VI, 10; Is. LVIII).

Whence simply and absolutely those more conjoined are to be loved more.

913. Special principles. I. In goods proper to some conjunction, he is to be preferred to the others who according to this conjunction is more proximate to us, and therefore in those things which pertain to nature we ought to love blood-relatives more, in those things which pertain to civil intercourse fellow citizens are to be preferred, and in military matters fellow soldiers.

II. In goods common to any conjunction whatever, whether eternal or temporal, those must be preferred who are absolutely more proximate, that is, who are united to us by a stronger conjunction.

But in itself spiritual conjunction prevails over civil; but carnal conjunction prevails over both, as resting upon nature, and therefore prior and more immovable, and founded upon greater benefits: for charity does not change the order of nature but perfects it. Hence a son is bound to leave military service or religious life, if necessary, for converting or supporting his parents.

914. Order among blood-relatives. - Generally, ordinarily, and in itself, among various blood-relatives aid must be given 1. to the wife, who is so intimately united with the husband that they are one flesh; 2. to children, for whom according to nature parents ought to provide; 3. to the father, who is the nobler principle of generation; 4. to the mother; 5. to brothers and sisters; 6. to other blood-relatives and relatives by affinity. After them come friends, benefactors, superiors, and persons more useful to the commonwealth.

It is said: generally, ordinarily, and in itself, for a) in extreme necessity parents seem to be preferred to all others, because since they have given life, their life, if necessary, is especially to be preserved; b) from particular circumstances it is permitted to invert this order: thus a good and diligent mother is to be loved more than an evil and dissipating father, likewise a singular friend or notable benefactor more than more remote blood-relatives; c) it is permitted to change the order by reason of office or a special obligation: thus a pastor generally is bound more to the instruction of parishioners than of blood-relatives, yet not in extreme necessity.

915. Observations. - 1. Parents, because more similar to God, are to be loved more objectively and with reverence than wife and children; but these latter more estimatively and intensively and with beneficence, because they are more conjoined. For the same reason benefactors are loved more objectively than those to whom we do good; conversely, those to whom we do good are loved more intensively than benefactors.

2. A father as father is in itself to be loved more than a mother as such, because he is the nobler principle of generation; but under another respect (and by another dilection) the mother can be loved more, for example, if she loves more, as naturally easily happens, because often she has done more for the son (at least in the beginning) and knows more that he is her son than the father does, and immediately holds and nourishes the newborn with herself. Whence St. Thomas, III Sent., d. 29, q. 1, a. 7, ad 4: "the mother places more of her own in the son than the father, but more of that by which he is son is placed by the father than by the mother."

3. In these and in all the rules stated above, equal necessity in all in the same order of goods is always supposed; in unequal necessity one must first aid him who suffers the greater need, for example, an infant is to be baptized rather than confessions heard.

4. An inversion of the order of charity is not mortally evil unless there is question of extreme necessity; - or unless it is very notable and is done without any reason. An inversion between son, wife, and parents is not notable; but it is notable between wholly strange persons and those very conjoined.

5. In heaven a) the order of charity between God and us remains, where God will be loved simply above all things; - b) as regards the order between us and neighbor, objectively we will love the better more, and the less good less, in perfect conformity to the divine will; but appreciatively and intensively, ourselves more; - c) as regards various neighbors, simply we will love more those more conjoined to God (as more conjoined to us), because every other conjunction to neighbor ceases in heaven and the whole blessed life consists in the immutable ordination of the mind to God; whence those are loved more there and are held by us as more proximate who are more proximate to God. And although some are also loved by more titles and modes (because grace does not destroy natural dilection), nevertheless to all these reasons the reason of dilection which is taken from proximity to God is incomparably preferred. The contrary holds on earth, where we need the help of others (Q. D. de Virt. 2, a. 9, ad 12; II-II, q. 26, a. 13).