Section II. On Accessories to Intercourse

Accessories to intercourse chiefly are: touches, kisses, embraces, and looks, both modest and less modest and immodest, whether done with venereal commotion or without it. But accessory acts are either mutual or solitary.

I. Mutual acts are to be judged thus:

1. If they are referred to intercourse, that is, if they are done with the intention of carrying out intercourse, whether absolutely or conditionally, namely if danger of pollution presses, they are lawful; and this holds even if the acts are very immodest. The reason is "because to him for whom the end is lawful, the means also are lawful; and to him to whom the consummation is lawful, the beginning also is lawful. Hence they lawfully excite nature by such things toward intercourse" (St. Alphonsus VI, 932). The danger of pollution, indeed, ought of itself to be avoided; but if the acts are referred to intercourse, the danger is commonly absent, unless you except certain acts which are of such a kind that pollution can hardly be timely averted. Such is, for example, begun intercourse from which the spouses desist before insemination. Acts of this sort, therefore, are scarcely free from grave sin, unless with respect to those who know by experience that grave danger of pollution is absent (St. Alphonsus VI, 934). On the insertion of the male member into the mouth of the wife, see n. 107.

2. If they are not referred to intercourse, they are lawful provided the danger of pollution is absent. The reason is that for those to whom intercourse is permitted, that is, the perfect mutual act, those acts also are lawful which by their nature are ordered to intercourse, that is, to the perfect mutual act; and of this kind are incomplete mutual acts. And this holds even if intercourse itself were forbidden to the spouses because of illness, or impossible because of impotence which had supervened; but otherwise if the spouse were bound by a vow of chastity (St. Alphonsus VI, 933; n. 85). If grave danger of pollution is present in either spouse, they are of themselves gravely unlawful; they become lawful if a proportionate cause for permitting the danger of pollution is present.¹ Moreover, the more an act influences pollution, the graver the cause required. Mutual love to be fostered makes honorable even less modest acts; indeed, generally a serious petition of the partner is a sufficient cause for admitting even more shameful acts, unless they are quasi-begun pollution, that is, such that pollution can scarcely be averted, according to what was said under 1 (St. Alphonsus VI, 934).

Note. What has been said about the obligation of asking and rendering intercourse is also applied to mutual accessory acts, with the things set forth above preserved, especially with the danger of pollution excluded.

¹ As is clear, it is not lawful to consent to a pollution that will follow; but many spouses are ignorant of the malice of consent in pollution following beyond intention, nor is it commonly expedient to warn them about that malice.

II. External solitary acts are certainly gravely unlawful if they bring with them grave danger of pollution; if they do not induce that danger, but nevertheless are placed with venereal commotion, they must be spoken of thus:

1. If they are referred to intercourse now to be had, they are lawful, as was said about mutual acts referred to intercourse (n. 101).

2. If they are not referred to intercourse, there is dispute. Some judge that the said acts are not unlawful in themselves, because venereal commotion in spouses always by its nature has an order to conjugal intercourse. Others hold acts of this sort to be gravely unlawful: first, because the spouse of himself does not have a right over the use of his own body, but only accidentally insofar as the use of it is referred to intercourse, that is, to the use of the body of the partner, according to these words of the Apostle: "The woman does not have power over her own body, but the man. Likewise also the man does not have power over his own body, but the woman."¹ Then, they say, incomplete solitary acts of themselves seem to be ordered to a complete solitary act, that is, to pollution. St. Alphonsus (VI, 936) says that the stricter opinion is to be advised; and let this also be done by those who adhere to the more benign opinion, because rarely will every danger of pollution be absent.

¹ 1 Cor. 7:4.

III. Internal acts, if they are concerned with an act unlawful to spouses, such as morose pleasure concerning intercourse with a third party, are manifestly sinful, as is explained more fully in the appendix (n. 120). If they are concerned with an act lawful to spouses, such as morose pleasure concerning intercourse with the partner, joy over intercourse had with that partner, or the proposal of having intercourse with that partner, they are likewise unlawful if they carry with them grave danger of pollution. If they do not induce that danger, even if they are exercised with venereal commotion, they are, with sufficient probability, equated with the mutual acts of which it was said under I, that is, they are lawful (St. Alphonsus V, 25;¹ n. 118 and 121).

Corollary. Of himself the spouse does not sin who excites himself to intercourse by looking at, or representing to himself, either shameful images or, for example, a beautiful person distinct from the partner, provided that he does not with complacency revolve in his mind an act which would be unlawful for him with respect to that person.

¹ Cf., however, St. Alphonsus VI, 937 and Homo Apostolicus, tr. 18, n. 42; these places create difficulty unless we say that the Holy Doctor is speaking there of graver venereal pleasure, which always brings on danger of pollution.